Flametree at last!

I should begin by warning everyone that I am not at my charming best this week. We are in the middle of an 'issue' with two members of the Kingdom who have made some very serious allegations about a third person and then accused us of aiding and abetting that person while Crown.

We went to some lengths to investigate their allegations and found them to be without substance, now new allegations have been made. Either, the third person is much, much smarter than I had given him credit for, or the first two are really misled. Given that I had previously considered these two as friends, and I am still convinced that they feel they are doing the right thing, this is all mentally exhausting.

And, of course, the curse of rumour is coming into play. So even if I stand up in public and say "This is, in detail, the investigation that we did that put our minds to rest." there will always be some people who say "Oh, well, they would say that to protect their arses." And then if person three does turn out to be an evil genius, won't we look stupid. Still, he just doesn't look that smart …

Obviously what I really want to do is to bang people's heads together, but that is neither realistic nor productive. Yet every now and then, I think, bugger being tactful and politic, what's needed here is a cast-iron frypan ...

Which means that I must apologise to the good people of Colles Adorum for beginning the tale of their joyful ball with a tale of woe. The good news is that I did what peers always tell you to do in these circumstances, I spoke to another peer, and that helped a great deal. She was very wise and talked me down from the bit where I started making feral ferret noises.

The Flametree Ball is one of the nicest balls of the year. It's relaxed, there's fabulous live music from the Happy Happy Dance Band (I know they have a real name now, but that's how I'll always think of them), there's good food, it's in an easy-to-get-to hall and it's a friendly, fun event after the stresses of Festival and May Crown.

This year was no exception, even though things have been a little more kooky in Colles Adorum than usual. And, because it's me, I'm going to tell you about the kooky from my perspective. I expect that several friends and readers will have different perspectives, I am not saying that mine is the only one nor that it invalidates any of yours. It's just what I think.

CA's newish Seneschal, Adam, is very household-oriented. This can be a bit of a problem when it is felt that the needs of the group and of the household pull in different directions. To his credit, when people have spoken with him about it, he has worked to be as impartial as he can be. But he feels a great sense of responsibility towards the household and so can't step away from it during his time as Seneschal, despite this being the best option.

I quite like Adam, even though he drives me nuts now and then. He has a good heart and he really believes that he is doing things for the best possible reasons. What he doesn't have is a sense of proportion on email. So if you walk up to him and have a straightforward chat about how you think that something should be done a little differently to the way that he is doing it, then he is fine and reasonable. Write something similar on email and it's the Hatfields and McCoys, the Orange and the Green, Tony Abbott and 21st century science (range of metaphors provided for cultural breadth).

I have to admit to a personal failing here, despite knowing this and making sure that whenever I have had an issue I talk to him face-to-face, I have never sat down with him and said "Email: not the tool of anti-Adam Satanism." I probably should, being one of a handful of pointy hats that he talks to. It's just, who died and made me the arbiter of how everyone should behave? While I'm as entitled to my opinions as the next person, I also believe that the next person is entitled to have one of my opinions be "I'm not involved in this, so I'll not tell you what to do."

Anyway, over the years I have had a few occasions to gently nudge Adam down from a high horse and, more often, reassure others that they didn't really do the equivalent of shooting his cousin (or creating stem cells if you're going with the Abbott reference) when they had a divergent view. The most common divergent view is over peers. Adam thinks that peers are basically evil and is on record as saying that he will refuse all awards (although, once again, I should check that is up to date, as the last time he said it to me it was last century. See, I don't care as much as I should. I gloss over people who aren't immediately important to me in favour of making frocks. This is not Right.) While I can see his point about evil peers (being one), there is a useful place for them and they are a part of the system. You can't be SCA without them, it doesn't work. And most peers are nice peers, who shouldn't be ignored, nor should they be snubbed nor vilified simply because they are good at what they do.

It's like hating the pretty people at school for being pretty. Exactly like that, in fact. And at some point you just have to say "We're not in the education system anymore, Toto."

So, Colles Adorum. Great group, wonderful people on both sides of the political divide, secretly competent and energetic Seneschal who has a few Major Issues, secretly unified populace who think that they have big schisms but watch them all snap back together when you threaten the group.

And a ball, and drink, and group A and group B taking positions in separate parts of the hall and not mingling. Can you guess what happened?

Absolute concord. Peace and respect for each side of the group. Applause at awards for the 'enemy'. And do you know why? Because Colles Adorum is really Lochac's Casablanca. They've looked at the serious issues facing the world, they've seen the real stoushes and the bloodfueds and the banishments, and they've realised that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this world. And at some point soon, it will all be the start of a beautiful friendship. You watch, introduce a Nazi Colonel they'll all have each other's backs in a second-flat.

Back to the ball itself. We do not dance. We are famous for not dancing. We actually do know about six dances after years of Del's brave demands, but James has a bung ankle and I have a manky foot and so we rarely take to the dance floor, unless we're particularly keen to make Del smile. Which has happened and will happen again, but not often. So we watched.

And it was beautiful. There was a lovely lass in really well made Eastern garb, there was a graceful young thing in a pretty Venetian, there were the nice Sockpuppets being gentlemanly , there were Wulfkin newbies in ENORMOUS pants, there were little Malachites being adorable (one of Lochac's two best-looking Colleges) and there were old-school CAers having a good old time. Killian whose new name I have completely forgotten because I am vague cooked a delicious repast, despite the fact that she was headed OS very shortly after (bless!) and she and Mayela were the kitchen angels of much cordial and snackery.

The whole evening was excellently coordinated by Alessandra, despite the fact that it had been a week of chaos in her personal life. She was surprisingly calm and held everything together most admirably. And I still have her Queen's Cypher to get to her, but I haven't seen her since then! Argh! Anyway, good job!

We handed out several awards, and we felt really dodgy because they were all to members of our household or associates thereof. But when I mentioned this to Adam (his wife, the wonderful Zenobia, had made a stack of the recommendations) he said, "Actually, I only twigged to that when you mentioned it. And while it's true, it also doesn't matter. These guys really deserved it." Which made me feel that I was not in Pollyanna-land when I realised that they were secretly Casablanca, and that while the French police and the locals may be having regular run-ins, they were all on the same side underneath.

They did all really deserve it, especially Mayela's Golden Tear (Lochac Service Award) and Blayney's Promethean Flame (Teaching) which had both been recommended by multiple people from multiple groups. Those two have no idea how much use they are to the Kingdom as a whole. We were privileged to give AoAs to Edie and Freiderik, who have both made a huge difference to the group in different ways since they joined (Edie usually smelling better) and, while it might be considered just vanity to give your apprentice a Lily (A&S), Art has done pretty much everything with no useful input from me, so I can't claim credit. I do yell at her to make things occasionally, but I do that to everyone, so bad Laurel, no biscuit.

The very best thing about the event was the A&S. there were two competitions, one on poetry and one on masks. The former was fairly easy to judge since most of the entries came from Paddy. He won with the one that was legible to others, luckily it was also entertaining and had some passages that were particularly well written. And he was still fairly sober when he read it out so that the jokes were comprehensible to the masses.

The latter was a right bugger to judge. There was one mask that was not technically very exciting, but which was conceptually very cool. It was a felted sheep mask based on a Norse find. the doco was great and fascinating, but unfortunately the artisan didn't have time to do their own felt and the shop felt did not lend itself easily to the task at hand. In fact, it worked against what the artisan had been trying to do, despite her best efforts. Damn shop felt. So the winner was, I think, one of the leather masks, which were all very nicely made and some technically better than others, but which weren't as basically 'cool' as the sheep mask. So much so that I can't quite recall which one it was. Perhaps Edie's spiral mask? She provided a little doco, but needed more! I think that I will try and grab the felt artisan for the next felt workshop that Tyg is doing, since I MUST go to that or she will give me A Look.

Despite several people complaining beforehand that it was inappropriate for Adam to miss court now that he was Seneschal, he was front and centre and laughed indulgently at all our bad jokes. I simply asked him to come and he said he would, ta da! I know that things are not so simply solved when you are part of a dispute and not some outsider with the power of pointy hatness, but there is good will there among most of the people involved. And the few areas where there is genuine craziness could probably all be sorted by getting drunk and tearful together, if only we could be 100% sure that that wouldn't be as a result of getting drunk and punchy or bitchy. Perhaps some investigations could be made into the best alcohol for quick maudlin "I love you, man"-ness. Hints? Suggestions?

Of course, from J's perspective there is one reason only to attend events in Bulli: the drive there. Down highways and freeways almost the whole way, with the steep windy descent of Bulli Pass on the way down and the long rolling curves in evening fog on the way back. There are giant illuminated signs suspended over the road that suddenly flash through the fog huge yellow letters that say "Beware FOG", although since they do this so suddenly and alarmingly, I have always thought that one should have another sign that says "Beware scary fog sign" a little bit beforehand. The same signs are used to say "Legal speed limit: 110" They used to follow this up with "Your speed: XXX" where the Xs represented your actual speed. They stopped doing this when it became obvious that people were using the signs as testament to their speedracerishness, some even going so far as to take photos.

When we arrived home that night, we were probably the most relaxed of any post-event homecoming. I say again: Colles Adorum may have problems that cause them the odd headache, but the rest of us just keep seeing the fact that all sides of the dispute are wonderful people with passion, commitment and ability. They just need to step away from the crazy and embrace their own usefulness. And perhaps read every email three times before replying.