May Crown, part one, the tournament

There comes a time in every reign when the thoughts of all Rational Royalty turn to one thing: successors. For us, that time was May Crown Tournament. Accompanied by the intrepid Baron of Rowany, we travelled deep into the beautiful countryside of Borderscross one Friday night, to a warm motel in Holbrook where we were met by the indefatigable (and stylish) Marie and Manfred who not only had tea and coffee, they also had a spare bed for Hrothers so that he didn't need to drive another 20 minutes and put up a tent after midnight. They are marvellous!

Early the next day we all climbed into our vehicles and covered the remaining 20 minutes of the journey. It was a wonderful little trip through rolling dales of nearly green with horses and cows snorting into the morning fog and kites wheeling under the warming sun. Also, really windy road – so J was able to pretend he was Michael Schumacher, which is always a good thing. For him.

The first few hours were taken up with meetings for the Laurels and the Pelicans. This was unusual, but given that most people had to leave early on Sunday for the big drives back to Sydney or Melbourne (or Brisbane), it was extremely sensible planning on the part of the organisers. The meetings were very thoughtful and without ego, which was a pleasant change after some of the Festival tossery.

And from hereon in, a very big thank you to House Woodrose for taking many more photos of the event than I had taken on my camera and sending us a disk, from which several shots are shamelessly stolen below. And also a very big thank you with hugs to the talented and attractive Adele for taking much better shots than I could have with my own camera.

Soon it was time for the actual business of the day, the tournament. Our Court Dragon, Joan, had arranged for everything, even down to there being rosemary wreaths sorted. She is an angel and we are not worthy.

As King, J was running the tournament and we had one small problem. There were only nine combatants. So J had a brainwave and decided that they should fight a round robin. Here he is having a lovely chat with Everard. That's what Kings do at Tournaments. He alleges he was also checking armour. Sure.

Why were there only nine? My best guess is that it was because the winners would have to go to three Baronial Changeovers on top of their three mandatory events and some fighters thought this would be unusually expensive. Which just goes to show that they are on drugs. In fact it is the easiest reign EVER because every little group who wanted a visit has said "Oh, but the poor old royals have three Baronial Invests, we'll wait till next reign." We did Canty Faire, Festival, one Baronial Invest, three mandatories PLUS visited loads of other people. They're weak, weak I tell you!

(Except Philipe who was very good and didn't fight because he'd promised Polit he wouldn't despite being not very likely to win the Baronial election.)

So, having dissed half the top fighters in the Kingdom, back to the day's events.

Before the Tournament, the combatants are introduced to the Royalty. J decided that it was very important that he spend this time chatting with people, and so left me to take all the introductions. And don't for a moment think that I won't do the same to him if I'm ever Queen by right of arms.

The chats are never easy, because you see every couple come up with all this hope and promise, and you know that all but one of them will fail. They follow a basic model, I'll paraphrase what was said between me and the attractive young couple in this photo.

Thaddeus Blayney: Greetings, Your Majesty, I fight today for the honour of my consort The Honourable Lady Artemisia del Quieto d'Arzenta.
Me: You are both well known to Us. We know that you have studied the laws of the Kingdom and that you are familiar with the responsibilities of the Crown, will you be able to travel to the events that have been specified for this reign?
TB: Yes, yes we will.
Me: Are you able to commit the time and resources that the reign will need?
AQA: Yes, we have a cunning plan!
Me: We know very well that the two of you are well versed in many aspects of the Kingdom and have a good understanding of the difficulties and joys of reigning from helping on so many Royal Households. We would be confident in handing the Kingdom on to the two of you, and proud to see you stand up as our successors. We wish you joy of the day, and have fun.

This is the basic model for all such introductions. There were nine combatants, so there were some little modifications.

For Inigo, Gwynfor Llwyd and Nathan Blacktower we said something along the lines of "You have reigned well over a Barony and have an understanding of many of the skills needed to reign over a Kingdom. All the Royal Peers will help you to make that transition should you be granted victory on the day."

For the younger and less-experienced fighters – Miles, Eoghann and Conan – "Your consorts are all very sensible women who will keep you from going mad, and all of the previous Crowns will help you with everything. Don't panic if you find yourself in the finals, you can do it."

Draco and Asa had a special speech, "We loved your work last time, so do that again and it will be perfect. Hurrah! Easy!"

Hugh and Therasa's chat was mostly along the lines of Inigo etc.'s, but with some additional bits: "You're going to be giving birth three weeks before November Crown. Will you go crazy trying to reign at the same time?" to which the answer was a confident no. And, "If you don't make it to the Tourney, you won't get your County, would you be okay with that?" to which the answer was a confident "Yes, we know what we're getting into." So, while I personally think that they were being very optimistic about the easiness of late pregnancy and new babies, I've seen women ploughing fields in the week before and after giving birth and reigning is a lot easier. They were in!

The introductions were done. The nine combatants and seven consorts (two stuck at home, poor things!) were all getting ready, we were nearly there ... Then J noticed that we only had six banners flying. One of his conditions of entry was that each fighter must supply a banner. Now you may ask, 'What's the point of having conditions of entry to a tournament?' And I'll try to keep the answer short. They demonstrate commitment to the seriousness of the day. If the current K&Q can't trust you to read and obey the conditions for the tournament, how can they trust you with their Kingdom? And if they can't trust you, how can they exchange the oaths they need to at Coronation?

So, we approached the Melburnians and it transpired that when they repacked the car to fit five people plus gear, one of the things that did not get put back in that should have been was the banner bag. It was an honest mistake. J looked at them and two were wearing torse and mantles and one was wearing a really flash surcoat over a good set of armour. He suggested that they use the mantles and the surcoat as banners, since their on-field appearance without them was still sufficiently high. Which was a relief, because six combatants would have made the day very short, even with a round robin.

Invocation court happened, the challenges were given, and the fiighting got underway. Round one began with Miles versus Inigo (brave choice, Miles!). We held our breath. Miles was an outside chance in this field, but since he is such a nice guy we wanted him to do well anyway. Inigo is a very resourceful and accomplished fighter who suffers from continually training lower-ranked fighters and not having enough time with people who stretch his skills. It was a good fight to start with; they both took each other's measure, made a few fast passes and ... double kill! On the replay, Inigo was victorious.

The second fight was also suspenseful. Would the dapper and limber Nathan Blacktower fall for the craftiness of Gwynfor Llywd? Yes, he would. Then Thaddeus defeated Eoghann and Draco beat Conan just by being that bit better than each of them.

Round two began with the physical mis-match of Draco and Inigo, Draco being the second tallest person on the field and Inigo being the shortest. Still, what advantage Draco has in reach, Inigo nearly countered in speed and adaptability. Nearly, but not quite.

Miles had been paying attention the round before and so was victorious when Gwynfor tried to recycle a trick. Then Thaddeus strode out, killed Conan and strode back all in short order. That left Hugh and Nathan, and there were parts of that bout where Nathan seemed to forget about nervousness and to really take the fight up to Hugh. But Hugh has more experience as well as more reach, and he was able to ensure the victory. Meanwhile Hrothgar and Philippe were fighting the byes through the course of the Tournament. J describes this as preferring to let others showcase their talents rather than prove once again that he could have defeated the entire field. It has nothing at all to do with the fact that he likes sitting around watching other people do all the work while he has a good goss.

Round three saw a very good bout where Blayney defeated Inigo. Already Blayney was showing himself to be the stand-out fighter on the day. Draco and Hugh were both fighting at the high level we expected of them, but Blayney had the same commanding presence when he took the field that they did. Part of his victory against Inigo was to do with spotting a cunning gap, but a lot was to do with walking into the bout knowing that he would be winning it. We shortened the odds on him. While it is Not Done to have favourites, we secretly wanted Blayney, Inigo, Nathan or Draco to win (so sue us. It would be cool to have an NZ or WA King, Draco is a fabbo successor and we just love Blayney and Art), and thought that Blayney, Draco or Hugh actually would. In the rest of this round, Hugh beat Miles, Draco beat Gwynfor and Conan beat Eoghann.

Round four became a little interesting. Inigo beat Eoghann, Nathan beat Miles and then Draco took the field against Hugh. These two are physically fairly similar. Draco is a bit slighter and shorter, but is more flexible and quite fast. Hugh is not so big as to be boofy and has a fantastic reach and swift reactions. The best thing about Draco's fighting is that you can see him always watching what is happening and processing it in his mind very quickly, so he is usually on top of any situation, and he has the physique to work with his understanding. The best thing about Hugh's fighting is that he is able to get past everything, so that every moment is the moment of opportunity. Some fighters completely lose focus when they are legged or defeated in a bout. Hugh just puts it behind him and is trying to kill his opponent just as much the second after a setback as he was the second before, and if he's killed, he loses nothing going into the next bout. It was close and long and hard, but Hugh gained the upper hand and won.

Then Blayney had a relatively easy bout against Gwynfor, who seemed to be going off at this stage, which is quite likely the case as he had a badly damaged finger on his sword hand. On to round five.

The first three bouts of round five were straightforward. Inigo defeated Conan, Draco beat Nathan and then Gwynfor beat Eoghann. Hugh sauntered out onto the field, and then looked a little less cocky when Blayney did the same. Reading Hugh's body language, he seemed wary but confident. As did Blaeney. They went in purposefully. Blayney took Hugh's legs, then finished him off. Hugh was giving it everything up to the minute that he lost and, while being annoyed with himself for losing, took a moment to admire Blayney's handiwork. As did we all.

The sixth round was not very exciting. Draco beat Miles, Conan beat Gwynfor, Blayney beat Nathan and Hugh beat Eoghann. Conan on his best days is not quite up to Nathan , who has a stronger group of opponents locally, but is still coming back from serious injury. Conan is a better fighter than his brother, though they're equally nice guys, and Miles is up and down depending on the day. He has a good technical understanding of the process but is not one of nature's most physical people, so sometimes his body forgets to follow his brain. Gwynfor has a series of good, tricky plays, but his skill set is not as extensive as it could be. That's not particularly his fault, he comes from an area where he is doing most of the teaching so there is no opportunity for him to learn new stuff. The old cunning sees him through quite a bit.

The three Knights all fought well, and Blayney was up at their level, too. It was good to see him taking the field without any of the apparent nervousness that had sometimes plagued him in previous Crowns. Because Inigo had started the day badly, and would lose the opening bout of the seventh round to Gwynfor, it was obvious by this point that the sharp end of the day would be fought out among Blayney, Draco and Hugh.

In bout two of round seven, Blayney beat Miles, then Hugh beat Conan and Nathan beat Eoghann. Round eight started off predictably. Hugh beat Inigo and Miles beat Eoghann.

Then Draco took the field against Blayney. J asked me at this point how the stats were going, I had the rounds all written down in my notebook. "Blayney is the only one who hasn't lost a life. If he gets through this, he has the bye next round and is guaranteed a finals spot."

"And if he loses?" J asked. I frowned: "Possible three tied at the top of the list depending on the shakeout next round." J frowned too and said, "I hope he wins, or my brilliant plan will look really silly."


Now look carefully at the photo. Can you see us in the background looking concerned and intent and hoping that Blayney can pull it off? You can? It didn't help, he lost. And Nathan beat Conan. The ninth round was over quickly. Inigo beat Nathan, Miles beat Conan, Draco beat Eoghann and Hugh beat Gwynfor. At the end of the day Hugh, Blayney and Draco all had seven wins.

While Muley and Breanna chatted sweetly about the joys of young love and could Breanna have a birthday sometime soon, please, oh god don't let your father hear me say that and kill me, the Royalty looked long and hard at each other. "It's a three-way tie," said the Queen. "Bugger," said the King. "This was my nightmare."

"Yes," the very sensible Queen replied. "I don't imagine the fighters are comprehensively thrilled, either."

So it was decided that another round robin would be held among the remaining three, and if they went one each they could just keep going until someone fell out or died.


Blayney went out to fight Hugh. He set his shoulders square and strode out boldly. And Hugh didn't fall for any of the things that other people had been falling for all day and he killed young Blayney. Hugh was relieved. His consort Theresa was more relieved. Artemisia said "That's all right, just win the next one."



So Blayney went out against Draco. And Draco kept his focus (which had fallen away very briefly in the rounds after his loss to Hugh) and he won.
So there we were. Two finalists. Blayney and Art were saddened that they would not be reigning, but were justifiably proud of Blayney's work over the course of the day. In the words of Roy and HG, sport was the winner on the day.




So the finalists and their consorts formed up into retinues. By this stage the winner's favour was finished (I had been sewing it during the breaks between bouts) and the wreaths were all perfect, because Dame Joan is a goddess. Two sets of tall attractive people with a bunch of supporters came out and took the field. The Chivalry was assembled to watch. I took the consorts to one side, and the lads got geared up and ready to fight.


We ladies took one corner of the field. You will notice that I am fulfilling my function of making Theresa and Asa look even taller, slimmer and younger than they actually are. Sirs Stephen and Philipe kindly guarded us from wayward finalists and Manfred and Joan came over because the comedy was best in our corner. I believe the conversation was all very much along the "So here we all are again ..." lines. It was the same final as two years before, and I suspected that I knew what would happen. Because for all that Hugh and Draco are very evenly matched, Draco had won one before. And that helps a great deal.

Sadly I have no photos from the finals, so I have stolen a few from Castle Subarac, Hugh and Therasa's household. You can see their website and really very good shots here. I haven't emailed them to check if this is okay because I am EVIL!! And this is theoretically a secret blog, even if every third person seems to be readng it at the moment (WHY? There's Dickens in the world! It's a distraction from the Lebanon conflict, isn't it? I'm okay with that..) so let's just pretend they're the links that I know my nearest and dearest are too lazy to click.

So, the finals. You'll need to ask J about the technical details, because everything was a bit of a blur to me. Hugh joked with Draco as he stepped out onto the field saying, "This is just like last time!" Argh! Jinx! Draco replied, "I certainly hope so!" and Hugh had a momentary look of "Dude, do not do straight lines!" I stood there thinking, "You know, I know that Draco and Asa do this job brilliantly, but I'll be okay with Hugh and Therasa, too, because all the things that caused them to not succeed in Stormhold won't be an issue here and all the things that they did well, like presence and courtliness and big frocks, will work well. Yup, it's all fine."

And Draco won the first of the final three bouts. And I wondered if Therasa was really as confident as she seemed that it wouldn't be a stress to reign and reproduce at the same time (but seriously, QEII managed it twice and it's still less stress than ploughing) and I also reflected that it would be cool to have three Duchesses rather than two so that we could have the nice one, the evil one and the dignified one (in reverse order) and I thought that I would still be okay with whatever way it turned out.

And Hugh won the second final. And at this point I started to pay more attention because it was really serious now and the two consorts were gripping my hands firmly but not so painfully as they had two years before and the two knights were stalking each other gracefully across the field and a flurry of shots were exchanged and "Good!" cried Draco.

And we all took a breath in.

"Flat!" cried Hugh before we could get halfway through the breath.

And we all breathed out. Which left us all a little hypoxic due to the not having breathed in properly yet.

And I thought very quickly: "You know, Therasa, I know for a fact that you're as proud as punch of Hugh at the moment because I can see the look on your face and that makes me like you quite a bit more, even though I simply don't 'get' you, and I can't tell you this because you'd think I was being patronising, which is fair enough, I'm pretty horrid." and I also thought, really really quickly: "Yay Hugh! That's what we're talking about when we say Lochac Knight!"

And then Draco won. And Asa was very happy and Therasa was also happy, because hell, they're having a baby! and I said "Go to them!" and pushed them out onto the field and they went and hugged their husbands.


And as you can see from this photo, Asa is faster than Therasa, and Hugh is slow at taking his helmet off. A word to all finalists in Crown Tournaments: Take Your Helmet Off Once It's Done. Otherwise you will try and hug your consort while wearing it, which hurts. Also, don't have your sword on your shoulder and then swing around from hugging your consoort to talk with your opponent because even with a combination of extreme shortness and good reflexes, she will feel it graze the top of her head and she will Be Annoyed.

So, while Hugh was disappointed that he did not win, he was justifiably proud of his performance on the field and he was suitably impressed that Draco had got past him again. He also took a moment to praise Blayney's fighting, and to thank the marshalls.

Now I'd be the first person to say that Hugh and I don't agree on everything. In fact, I'd probably be the second, after Hugh. But I was a bit outraged on his behalf when some people, who admittedly have very good reason not to like him, did a big dance of happiness about his defeat in full sight of the list field.

There are many people who do not like me. There are a few that I do not like. There would be more if I could bother to remember them. I would like to think that they know it's okay to not like me, just as I know it's okay to not like them. We observe all the forms, we obey the niceties, we acknowledge that each other can do good things and will applaud politely when good things are done. It's just manners. And it's also politics. Your enemies may hate you with the burning passion of a thousand fiery suns going nova, but so long as they never make a point of displaying that hatred in public, they will always have a strong public position to criticise you from.

So, the dancing made me like Hugh more. Not that I disliked him, I just disagree with him a lot

And I should pop a quick little thank you in here to Adele, Joan and Manfred who kept J and I hydrated and in touch with reality through the course of the day. You chaps are ace! Also, very funny and we must never, ever do a soundtrack to a Crown Tournament or we will have people doing dances whenever we fall over.

After the Tournament came the wreaths. We followed in Cornelius and Morwynna's footsteps and did a field investiture of the Crown Prince and Princess with wreaths, to be followed up that night at the feast with the Coronets. I actually think that most K&Qs have done this, but I am having a complete mental blank on every other Tournament. Which is ridiculous, because we were at all of them and have been active participants in a quarter of all such ceremonies. Anyway ... our predecessors did this for us and it was really cool, we did it too, it rocked. Yeah! (NB talking like a teenager willl distract readers from a Senior's Moment!)

Then we awarded the wreaths of Chivalry. Typically the Queen chats with her ladies and other royal peers and the King and they see whose name is prominent in people's minds for this wreath. J and I began to chat about it and Adele and Manfred said "I think handing away the final by calling a flat is pretty fucking chivalric." And J said, "Yeah, that's what I was thinking." and I said "Oh thank god I don't have to convince anyone it's the best decision. Yay!"

So Hugh deservedly received the wreath that I always think of as being the one that you really want. And there was a huge cheer, because it was the right call. Also, take one look at that photo and tell me there's not a little bit of an 'Awww' for the look he's giving Therasa?

And the final wreath, valour, went to Blayney and Artemisia. Because he fought better than I have ever seen him fight before, and he did it all for her. And the crowd went absolutely wild, because he had captured all of their imaginations in the course of the day and Draco and Hugh could be heard loud in the cheers because he had pushed them hard. And, as you can see, we were just a teeny bit proud of our friends.

Next post: The feast! And Sunday! And Flametree! And Cornelius sings! No, really.