Universe 1; Crocodile Hunter 0
Stever Irwin, better known as the Crocodile Hunter, has died this morning from injuries subsequent to being stung by a sting ray.
That never happens.
Despite the fact that we tell everyone in the rest of the world that everything in Australia will kill you, most things won't. Sure, they'll make you wish you were dead while you recover in a casualty ward somewhere, but pretty much every single person who has every been stung by a stingray has hoppped around saying "ARRGH!! MY FOOT!" (they're usually trodden on), had some first aid, then had a scar and story to take home from their tropical holiday.
But not the guy who spends his time annoying crocodiles. Those same crocodiles that actually DO eat unwary tourists fairly often (when you see a 'don't swim here' sign in Australia, we're not pissing in the wind.) Nope, he gets a sting through the chest and carks it, legs in the air, bucket well and truly kicked, an ex-parrot.
Don't mistake me, I feel very sorry for his young family and think that it's an awful thing to have happen. But at the same time, I have a sneaking suspicion that the crocodiles must have paid off the stingrays: "Guys, it'll look too suspicious if we do it. And, after the huge amount of lobbying he's done to keep us protected despite booming numbers and increased tourist eating, it'd be ungrateful. But someone has to stop him ..."
News items rarely surprise me these days, this one did. I look forward to the eulogising from the same media who poured scorn over him when he held his youngest child near a crocodile's mouth. The kid was perfectly safe, he didn't look a thing like a German backpacker
That never happens.
Despite the fact that we tell everyone in the rest of the world that everything in Australia will kill you, most things won't. Sure, they'll make you wish you were dead while you recover in a casualty ward somewhere, but pretty much every single person who has every been stung by a stingray has hoppped around saying "ARRGH!! MY FOOT!" (they're usually trodden on), had some first aid, then had a scar and story to take home from their tropical holiday.
But not the guy who spends his time annoying crocodiles. Those same crocodiles that actually DO eat unwary tourists fairly often (when you see a 'don't swim here' sign in Australia, we're not pissing in the wind.) Nope, he gets a sting through the chest and carks it, legs in the air, bucket well and truly kicked, an ex-parrot.
Don't mistake me, I feel very sorry for his young family and think that it's an awful thing to have happen. But at the same time, I have a sneaking suspicion that the crocodiles must have paid off the stingrays: "Guys, it'll look too suspicious if we do it. And, after the huge amount of lobbying he's done to keep us protected despite booming numbers and increased tourist eating, it'd be ungrateful. But someone has to stop him ..."
News items rarely surprise me these days, this one did. I look forward to the eulogising from the same media who poured scorn over him when he held his youngest child near a crocodile's mouth. The kid was perfectly safe, he didn't look a thing like a German backpacker
posted by Miss D at 3:55 pm
5 Comments:
See, I wasn't surprised at all, until I heard Stingray. I mean, stingrays are notoriously one of the shyest creatures ever, so what the? An amazing amount of bad luck. I think the payoff theory may be a good one.
As it is, you're right about the media. He's now going to be an Aussie hero. When, really? Have you ever heard him espouse his political views? Misogonystic, conservative, all of those things come to mind. But, he did do goods things for tourism in queensland *headdesk* And he made every American think tat every australian runs aroudn shouting 'Crikey!' all the time. Sigh.
No, he's not my favourite man. I do feel for his wife and his kids though.
I need to make a date with you for german sleevey stuff. and mayhaps some patterning of a shift? *looks cute*
I'll email you. That makes more sense.
Not as amusing as if he had died from a complete non-dangerous animal related incident.
Media is bound to go stupid. So far the silliest headlines I've seen so far is "Killer ray 'was probably startled'"
Most creatures are pretty startled when Steve Irwin pops by.
In other news: the stingray in question has been caught, and will shortly be released in Kath & Kim's bathtub to continue its good work.
You're right, Ant, but "Savaged by Sheep" was a better headline than we could hope for.
And while Kath and Kim is painful, the actors are quite brilliant, so no stingrays!
Stingray: "What I am going to do is shove this barb right into this humans chest. That should kill it"
Steve: "Crickey!"
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