Four Good Things and One Not So

Sorry for the appalling lack of postage lately. The holiday time of year is actually a very busy one for both J and I. He's at work at the moment and I'm trying to finish cleaning the house, creating a puppet show, weeding the garden and making Marie's hat all at the same time. So, naturally, I'm blogging.

Argh.

Anyway, I thought I would end the year talking about some of the good things that I have been up to lately, and then one thing that I think we could all do better.

The first good thing was the Hobby Horse Crusade which we attended a few weekends ago in Polit. Karl Faustus ran the event – he has an LJ, but I'm not sure how public it is, so I won't link him here. His household has a very clever concept whereby they match experienced event runners with not-so experienced ones and so pass on skills and ensure that the event will be fine no matter what.

At this event, KF's Beloved, Dame Joan Sutton and Countess Mathilde Adycote worked their kitchen magic, while BJ, better known as the youthful Lord Robert Stoner, ran the heavy tournament, the lovely Gabrielle of the Marshes ran the fencing and a young man named Erik ran the boffer. In addition, there was a quintain, hobby horse racing and general boffering to use up all the energy in the young people.

While he gave full credit to Count Stephen for his organisational help, Robert did a brilliant job with both the heavy biff and in encouraging cross-discipline support. The heavy tourney was won by Duke Cornelius in a nail-biting finish against Count Veniamen; they were enormous fun to watch and very similar in a lot of their Cunning Moves. Also very amusing, which was needed on such a hot and tiring day.

Cornelius accredited Veniamen with the victory, who denied it and claimed it was all Corney. Given that His Grace was hung-over and His Excellency was perspiring like a melting thing, I think they can both claim to be manly men of much mightiness and leave it at that. Well fought, at any rate.

J did not fight as he had begun the day with a pounding headache and then we spent the first hour of our journey travelling about eight miles in awful Sydney traffic; so his decision to leave his armour at home was the best one since taking it would have brought on heatstroke or a fully blown migraine (and I can't drive to get us home from these things.) A shame, though, as he would have enjoyed himself greatly.

The rapier tournament was, I think, won by Owen against Gabrielle, but I could be hideously wrong. Around the time of the finals I was chatting to the very courtly and charming Owen who had just called me Your Grace when a fly flew down my throat, leading to a solid two minutes of coughing, hacking and spitting. While the fly was ejected in all the fuss, I feel that it did my gracious image no good and once again thank the stars that there is Duchess Morwynna for people to look to in terms of dignity.

The boffer was the key part of the the day and it was won by a new young girl named Lauren who belongs to the same homeschooling network as Karl Faustus's elder daughter, Bethany. Now I have a terrible confession to make. I can never remember Bethany's mum's name. Because I am an idiot. Admittedly an idiot who was hit in the head with two tonnes of taxi, but I have a bad feeling I was this useless before that, too. Karl always refers to her as Beloved, which doesn't help. So my exchanges with her go like this: "It's really good to see you! Your daughters are really cool! Gotta go! (Before it becomes obvious I have no idea what your name is and you think I'm rude and/or stupid. Now you just think I'm rude.)"

Anyway, back to the boffer. Lauren is one of those cool young women who are strong and smart, which allowed her to quickly pick up that the way to win in the boffer was to evade your opponent's reach, then lunge in for the tap when they were planning something else. Several of the boys were so focussed on thwacking her in the rounds that they failed to spot her strategy and she was able to kill them all. She's wearing the olive green frock in these photos. Her young friend, Caitlin (wearing the light blue), was also a quick study at the technique and she won the chivalry prize as she was extremely gracious in her boffering. At the end of the day she gave her prize, a pretty unicorn hobbyhorse, away to Catherine, Joan and Crispin's oldest girl. This was very much appreciated by Catherine, who spent the entire evening and the next morning riding and grooming her steed (prizes courtesy of Their Excellencies Stephen and Mathilde). Caitlin dimissed her generosity saying that she was a bit old and would only have enjoyed the hobby horse a little bit as opposed to Catherine's a lot. All the adults immediately thought she was adorable.

I think that Bethany may have come second in the tournament – my brain had utterly melted in the heat, but since her little sister ended up playing on a hobby horse a great deal, I suspect that this was the case and that her prize, too, was given to a smaller small. She did, however, make it very clear that she will be Lochac Earl Marshall one day, and quite possibly a knight, too. I have never seen anyone who is such a stickler for technique and rules when it comes to boffer; not in the bossy way, but in the instructive and teaching way. It was fabbo! She was very keen that all the kids have fun and no-one get hurt. More generosity in the young!

The Court at which all the prizes were handed out was just lovely. I've mentioned before that there was no bad choice for the new B&B in Polit, but Allesandro and Isobel are doing a wonderful job and have a really good presence, plus good schtick; not too formal, not too jokey, but just right. They also fought on the day, alas, they were smoten.

Robert and nice young red-gold-haired boy whose name I think might be James or John (argh! no brain!) did some technical instruction with me in the boffer at the end of the day. We showed the midgets the need to bring the boffer in close to power a disarming blow, then just use a gentle rebound to actually hit the opponent, and we reminded them that when it came to knights at festival, they were to rebound with a thwack. Robert revealed the mounted position for boffer cavalry and we were instantly surrounded by kids who wanted to be seen as tall enough to be the horses. Alas, only a handful were, and some of those were too slight. I had one young man pointing out that he was a good two inches taller than me, and I had to confess that I weighed at least three stone more than he did. But he plans to eat a lot between now and Easter.

Robert again mentioned that he thinks we will need helmets if we are to do the mounted thing. I think he is right, this will require thought. There is already a fair bit of expenditure to be made, so I don't want to add to it. We may need to rethink this.

After all the biff there was a lovely relaxed feast which had been billed as 'unchallenging'. While the kidlets were all unafraid, it was all tasty and delicious, nothing bland or boring. Robert Stoner was given a Griffin's Egg at Court, which is the Polit award for people under 16 who have contributed a great deal to Polit or to served as examples to the youth of the barony. It was very well deserved! Then, in a very unexpected moment, I was given a Griffin's Egg, too, despite meeting only one of the categories and then barely. I felt very guilty, since I only inspire the children to violence and silliness, while Robert is a good example all round. But I was touched nonetheless and have been carrying the token around with me ever since.

It was very good to have an opportunity to talk a bit with the kids that night, although the heat was showing badly and I was much less coherent or energetic than I had intended. Still, when young Sophie came bouncing up and 'sang' a song at me that went "Giggle giggle you going giggle giggle fair giggle giggle time!" I was at least enough on the ball to join in with "Remember me to the one who lives there, she once was a true love of mine." Which amazed Crispin and amused Sophie no end. I must get down for another small Polit event so that I can chat properly with people like Bethany and Robert, Caitlin, Lauren and her nice brother; they are all the sorts of kids I liked when I was a kid – a little kooky, but in the interesting and individual way. And ridiculously good looking. Are there no ugly children in the SCA?

The best thing about this event was that all the kids felt quite welcomed, while there were things for the adults that made them feel right at home, too. No one was stuck in the corner, and the newbies felt just as much at ease as the oldtimers. I do hope that the new folk will come again. I even had time to briefly meet an adult I liked, Meredith, who, like all Merediths I have ever known, was smart and funny.

Later that night we stopped by Jeff and Barry's for supper, which was just delightful. I really miss seeing them more regularly, and Jeff and I were reminded of the fact that J and Ewa (Jeff's wife) are identical in many mannerisms. The old joke is that Jeff and I could never run off with each other (because we'd kill each other aside from anything else), but Jeff and J could. Ewa and I once planned that we would have rocking chairs on the verandah if we needed a contingency plan, and she would get to eat the soft ice cream from around the outside of the tub and I would tackle the hard bit in the centre.

The next morning we visited Joan and Crispin at their home and J was able to have a bit of training time with C. Good fun for them. We girls relaxed, with Joan's little girls showing me the fairy garden. Catherine and Sophie have a very good garden with several cubbies and spots to climb as well as a sandpit and some flowers. Catherine turned into the hydrangea fairy and scattered us with flowers and leaves. Excellent! Of course, the funniest moment of all was completely unintentional. Sophie is only three, and she spent the most time with us at Festival where her mum was running our Royal Household and we occasionally gave her a ride in the Royal Wheelbarrow. So she could barely contain her excitement when she leaned across the table and confided in a loud, high whisper, "The King is in my Bathroom!!"

The second good thing was another event, which I actually started to write about a few weeks ago and then was distracted. It was the Feast of the Four Winds in Colles Adorum. My briliant Apprentice Number One invented this event to go with an A&S competition she runs where people are encouraged to submit full outfits.

This year the event was run by Adam and his team, and they did a really good job with the hall and the food. Apparently the tournament was great, too, but we missed it, I think we were both at work through the day. John Dye was there with his very cool lady, and there was a stack of younger folk who all seemed to be having a good time. Zanobia won the A&S comp, with a very good outfit that was intelligently designed and made. Eadie came second, with a beautiful Hollandish, and Bleddynn third with a Roman that would have scored higher marks had he oly thought to provide doco. The most exciting thing was that all the entries incorporated handmade shoes! That young Artemisia is a very good influence!

It was another of those small SCA events that is just seamless. There was a lot of food and cold drink and room to dance or run around like a loon. We stole young Sarah, Adeline's daughter, and J, Maeve, Miles and I took it upon ourselves to wear her out. Which we succeeded in! The clever adult game of Run in a Circle still works on her. I give it a year, max, before she works that one out.

Anyway, for a good event and a great idea, Four Winds (which J will call Beanfest, but let's not encourage him) won two thumbs up from me.


The third good thing was the In Dulci concert we attended. In Dulci are a group of mostly Rowanite singers (a spot of Stowe, too!) who are very talented. They have taken their in-game a capellaness and made it work out of game, too. Although they are still pretty medieval/Baroque in their song choices. So far we've caught two of their gigs and we've got the album. When they release a T-shirt, we'll have the full merch set. Needless to say, they were very good and we enjoyed ourselves a great deal. Bethan did a champion job of conducting, for which she is being rewarded in this shot by flowers. Katherine and Annabel both sing like angels, not that I'm biased towards tuneful sopranos ...

The fourth good thing was Christmas. I decided to go all-out and make things. So I have a mostly made hat for Marie and a mostly made calendar for several others, but I briefly had a wholly made gingerbread house!

It was inspired by Malin's magnificent gingerbread house of two years ago, but I failed to learn one important lesson. Humdity is the natural enemy of the gingerbread. You would think that a Jasper Fforde fan like me would remember that.

The house itself was sweet. It had a flower garden made of jubes on two sides, and a path and rear deck made of blue and green M&Ms. On the side it had a musk stick entertaining area, where a gingerbread angel had fallen to its doom. Above it there was a shooting star of Bethlehem, or Halley's Comet, depending on your theism.

The path was lined with raspberry licorice, and there were pfeffernusse trees at the front and marshmallow snowmen out the back. On one side there was a large clinker-lined pool. In the pool, jelly penguins swam. It took me hours!!!! And a great deal of royal icing!!!! And I had to stop J from eating the Freckles that were meant to be the roof tiles.

After starting at about 10am, it was mostly ready to go by about 5.30. Dinner was at 7.30. Alas.




For one brief half-hour, things looked pretty good. Tyg and Krin got to see it in its happy phase, and I did think to snap a few shots off so that we could make Malin laugh. The green triffid is a gingerbread tree, BTW. And then, Sydney's cruel and unusual summer weather kicked in. While it may not have been the usual 40°C (100°F), the humidity was still soup like.

And so the roof line began to sag.

And sag some more.

And then crumble under its own weight. In desperation I popped a plastic container inside to try and hold up what remained of the structure. That worked, a little bit. By the time we got to Marie and Manfred's house of Hospitality for dinner, alack, things were looking grim.



As Blayney or Bleddyn would say, there was something of a structural failure taking place. We decided that it was a house in Tamworth, where freak hailstorms two days before Christmas had seem roofs collapse in major buildings. A delicious dinner was eaten, then we turned back to the house.

Which by now resembled nothing so much as Mawson's Hut. Collapsed. Destroyed. Defunct. Still tasty, though.










Everything was not lost. We had a splendiferous dinner with good company, including Manfred's parents, who cheerfully wore silly hats for the occasion, and Marie and Manfred themselves. Very good presents were exchanged, and much duck was guzzled. As with all good festive meals, we sat around for hours afterwards making the urrrr noise.















And to prove that it wasn't just me who was having a bad dessert day, Marie's mousse turned on us and became so chumpy, you could carve it. Tasted bloody good, though.















Christmas Day itself we spent quietly at home, then Spyd and Mendoza came to visit us on Boxing Day with AJ. Who ate dirt, because he is a proper kid. Then he demanded a nice drink to get rid of the dirt taste, because he is also a smart kid.

We still have Gordy's present to get to Spyd and Lily's to get to Mendoza; we weren't really as organised as we meant to be this year. Of course, since I still haven't finished the sodding calendar, it's all a schemozzle.


In terms of our personal loot, J and I gave each other lovely things that we like a lot. But he gave me a jigsaw puzzle! Which is why I haven't finished anything. These things are like crack! I got this far on the first day and then spent the next three getting about a third of the way through the black background. Luckily, Spyd mentioned that there were things called puzzle mats that let you roll your puzzle up and come back to it. So that saved me from losing my whole holiday to my OCD. It will still be there after Festival when I need something brainless to do.

We actually had money for the post-Christmas sales this year and I spent most of it on a new mattress so that we will sleep comfortably. Expect new levels of sanity and attractiveness from the two of us. I am counting down the days till it arrives on the 10th. (Eleven! ha ha ha ...) (Sorry. I really couldn't help myself on that one)


Finally the one bad thing, which I thought I'd illustrate with this amusing photo of my cat hiding under a travel pillow. Don't worry, she's fine. I've realised that we're generally bad with newbies in Rowany. I realised this when I met someone at an event recently who lives here but doesn't come to local events because she was slagged off by some Rowanites at her second event. She was in the toilets when she heard herself being described in specific and unflattering terms.

Funnily enough, I had recently spoken to another very cool woman (Hi Emma!) who had had a similar experience and who had decided to write us off as a pack of wankers. Thinking back, I had a number of oldtimers describe me as an unprincipled social climbing bitch when I joined. Which is, of course, ridiculous. I have plenty of principles and I would spend my energies climbing more useful societies if that was my real goal. At least they got the bitch part right.

I had a chat with Maeve and Miles and they described similar problems when they joined. In fact, it was only that Gui and Bethan and a few others were there when Maeve and I came along, and I already had Mouse and Coco to trust, that we made enough contacts to keep us in. Miles fell in with many of the same lot, and Gawyne and Alfar, too.

So the four of us (Miles, Maeve, J and I) resolved to spend more time helping newbies in future. And to introduce them to loads of people so they can make up their own minds who they play with rather than feeling tied to one group from the beginning. It's not the world's greatest plan, but at least it has the advantage of being easy to remember. If anyone has a more concrete method for making new folk feel included that copes with being managed by four overly busy and slightly distracted people – do tell!

And now for resolutions:
Get authorised
Kill Knights (either due to being authorised or with the Mighty Midget Army, or both ...)
Make new Elizabethan frock
Wear old one again
Make smocks for Canty Faire
Finish bloody calendar before end of January
Grab Lovely Apprentices for frock-making days
Shields for Mighty Midget Army
Don't overcommit
Enjoy more events
Finally write up Hollandish notes before Adele (rightly) kills me

That's enough for one year's blogging. Happy New Year to you all and thank you for your patience.

For S and J

Recently I have been prodded by two of my nearest to provide them with gift suggestions for the Birthday that will fall in five and a half weeks. This post is for them. It is not designed to make the rest of you think you need to buy me flash gifts. While I love flash gifts, I can save up and buy them for myself if it comes to that. Although, if you're one of the many people who have received expensive wedding, baby and birthday gifts from me over the years, a small trinket would be nice since I'm never getting married and none of you buggers ever have anything under $100 on your registries.

There will be a do on the weekend of Jan 27-28. Details will be sent out shortly as soon as I can book a caterer. And if I don't invite you to said birthday do, it's not for lack of love. It's for lack of catering budget and the fact that we have the world's tiniest house. And I really need a new mattress before the sleep deprivation sends me over the edge, so the catering budget is staying small.

Anyway, S and J and the few other people who feel the urge, here's a long, comprehensive list. Do not go crazy. Things I particularly love are starred with an asterisk. I would also be very pleased to receive an email from Oxfam telling me that someone in Uganda has a toilet or a goat donated in my name. Relax, S and Baggy, the goats are for milking.

Right, so, onto said list.
*J, I would like a nice piece of jewellery; something that I will wear often. You should sit down with S and LAJ (M) and listen to their advice to you. It can have your name on it. It should not have just my name as I know my name. Although it was very sweet of you to think of your cunning plan. John W Thompson is the engraver whose work I really love. I can wear silver or gold. If you decide on a ring, a good cunning plan to get the right size is to take an impression from one of the two rings I wear all the time. The one with the stone fits my ring finger, the other one fits my thumb. They live on the bathroom shelf overnight.

I will not go mental if you don't give me jewellery, but if you plan to, you should organise this very soon as it will take much more than a week.

*In other news … I collect Royal Doulton Countess china in the green, yellow and black pattern. It's the original pattern of that name, from the early 20th century. Not the new pattern (which I am appalled to discover the existence of!)
It looks like this. I only like the green, which is unfortunate because you see more of the pink and the black, but they're horrid. I would like anything in this pattern, really, but would particularly like a teapot and a sugar bowl. The former should cost no more than $150 and the latter no more than $30, but it's a matter of finding the little buggers. I have bought most of mine off eBay, which is punishing on the postage. The Sydney Antiques Centre has some from time to time in their china-focussed stores, but they tend towards the usurious. This would all be so easy were we in London ...

I would love any of the following books:
Decca: the letters of Jessica Mitford by Peter Y Sussman
Before the Mast; life and death aboard the Mary Rose, ed Julie Gardiner (available from Mainly Medieval, 02 9519 2131)
Once More with Footnotes, by Terry Pratchett, but not from Amazon as they are gouging mercilessly
Dynasties: Painting in Tudor and Jacobean England 1530-1630, by Karen Hearn
Elizabeth's spy master: Francis Walsingham and the Secret War that Saved England, by Robert Hutchinson
Linger Awhile, Russell Hoban
*Debs at War, Anne de Courcy
Agincourt, by Juliet Barker
Isabella: She-wolf of France, Queen of England, by Alison Weir

*Or a subscription to one of my favourite mags, the Literary Review. If you've never picked up a copy, do, it's brilliant. Oh, and J, Gardens Illustrated?

CDs
Wagner's Tristan und Isolde, because I can divorce the music from the history
Mozart's The Magic Flute
*Any Vaughan Williams, my albums are all just that, and I have no turntable these days.
*The Proclaimers Sunshine on Leith, because I need a quick flashback.

'Medieval' things
Light white linen, lengths of over 4m
Silk sewing thread, white, black and deep red
Purse frame from Mainly Medieval, 02 9519 2131
Candlesticks, salt or needlecase from same
Elbow cops

House things
A medium-sized food processor
Space bags, the proprietary brand, not the cheaper knock-off. S was right, they are magnificently useful.
Magazine storage holders (any type, I'm no longer fussy. Carboard from Officeworks is fine. Just not fluoro.)
A cleaner
100 per cent cotton double sheet set in plain colour (white, green or dark red are all safe)
Wooden bath mat

Writing things
Antique writing box, like this one, or this one, but only if you have actually won the lottery.
Thick cream or off-white paper with a slightly rough texture, torn edges are fine, preferably cotton or linen
A nice crystal, silver or brass inkwell would be welcome
* More Moleskine notebooks, I prefer the unlined notebooks, but also don't mind the unlined reporter's pads. The thin paper is better, since I never end up sketching in the sketchbooks anyway.
More Staedler triplus fineliners in the four-pack with the flip-top case. I go through these and Moleskines at an alarming rate.

Lifestyle things
A horseriding lesson, because I need to brush up
Singing lesson, same reason
Packed sandwiches (no pig, cheese or sour cream!), some waterbottles and company for the Spit to Manly walk
A Trangia camping stove and insulated bottle for meths
Gardener for an afternoon (just a labourer would be fine)

This will probably be amended after Christmas, as I have no idea what J is getting me, and will add on the things from the Christmas list here. Good company and laughter would do just as well. While I may not have finished the Great Novel TM yet, I have my health (which is apparently excellent according to my last checkup), a wonderful J and utterly fabulous friends. And I won't read the comments on this thread in case anyone feels the need to point out what an acquisitive horror I turned out ot be after all.

Duchy ceremonies

Heyup, sorry for the delays in posting, but things have been hectic to the point of sleep deprived lunacy around here. Just between us: never try and reorganise your whole house in the weeks before your Duchy ceremony and at the busiest time of the year in magland.

On the up side, we got the mag done early, for we are godlike!

The downside is at the end of this post because I don't like to start with a grump (it's a doozy.)

Back to the ceremony. I had wanted to do this at Yule because I have never had any big moments in my home barony, so I flew down the K&Q and hoped for the best. Alas, several important (to me (and to others, but I was having a selfish moment)) people couldn't be there, but the majority of people that really mattered to me were. It was especially good to see the Colles gang (Hi Evie! Hi Zanobia!), and Phil came up from Polit specially, which was very sweet.

Thank goodness for Maeve! She spent the whole afternoon helping me out with the enormous list of things that needed to be done. She is an angel.

I, however, am foolish, because I agreed to be the Queen's native shopping guide. I should just have drawn the wonderful Deense some good maps and trusted in Anna's native genius to use them, rather than use hours I didn't have. Oh well.

It was, however, very enjoyable having brunch with Asa, Deense, Maeve and Anna. They are all women that I would like to spend more time with. We had some bad news while in the cafe about a friend that three of us care about and Anna hasn't met, which put a bit of a spanner in the day.

Fast-forward several hours of frantic preparation and the very slow return of J from the tournament and we hit the event with about half-an-hour before court, which might sound like a lot of time if there weren't dozens of things to get done in that half hour.

Quick sidebar here, the hall was fabulous. It had been beautifully decorated and the banners and greenery were such that even before we were able to taste any of the delicious food, we knew it was a really good event. Here's the lovely Stanzi looking very startled that someone is taking a picture of her (she looked great), with J, Mendoza (also looking spiffy in his new mandress), Sir Torg and Duke Cornelius behind her.

Right, so, we'd made it into the vestibule. There were four banners to assemble and my two beautiful apprentices were amazingly useful in getting them together and then, with Maeve, making sure that J was dressed. Aelfled is always a bastion of calm, and Art was amazing, especially with her head wound! (The Rowany pavilion centre pole had fallen on her earlier that day.)

Thanks, too, to Miles the ever-handy for help with both parts of that sequence. Meanwhile Marie and the lovely DV were wrestling with my sleeves. I had made a fundamental error by choosing to wear the chemise that Baroness Helene had made for me. It has boofy sleeves, which were in fact too boofy for my frock and led to some great weirdness. My fault. I just wanted to trot it out for something good given the amount of work that went into it. Thanks, DV! And thanks, Tyg, for not laughing at me!

Mayela and Tyg were calm and angelic, and added immeasurably to the beauty of the procession, and to the sanity. Even with Tyg proclaiming that she had run out of same. Blaeney was manly and carried a sword. It's what he does.

Mendoza was set to herald, which was perfect, because he is brill and also very important to us, so that was a very easy way of working him into the ceremony.

Cornelius and Morwynna, Duke and Duchess Lochac, were very helpful and calm and carried the wreaths that we used instead of coronets (too much faff to get them done, and besides, I spent all my spare money on air tickets for the K&Q!). It was very good to have them there, quite aside from setting a nice tradition of contiguity.

J went first, and his ceremony was very well handled. Although I do not know what I was thinking when I left the word heretofore in. Steffan Glaube and I like that word, maybe Anton and Marie. The rest of the kingdom have it on their Lists of Words for Wankers. And rightly so. My bad.

Once again I was very happy that Draco and Asa had won May Crown. They are so charming and relaxed in court, at the same time as maintaining great dignity and serenity. It was lovely to watch them recognising J's new estate, and also to see Duke C's role in the ceremony. My favourite thing in-game has always been people living up to their titles, and all three conspired to make it a fine moment for J.

As you can see, the wreath was a bit verdant, but I will hasten to point out that it contained many strawberry leaves, as did mine. Thanks, again, Maeve!

Baron Hrothgar later cheerfully pointed out that J would make a great green man. J pointed out that he was far from green these days. Bordering on silver.

After the Duke's ceremony comes the Duchess's, which meant that we needed to get in line and go.

Luckily there were a few hurrahs in between.


Morwynna, Maeve and Marie took their spots around me, with the banner sisters bringing up the rear. I know that I had the courtesy banner, but I forget which other one came in with me, Largesse? Probably, leaving J courage and prowess. I kept thinking, again, how wonderful Tyg, Art and Allesandra had been with their help on these. And especially Marie and Manfred who not only helped with the tech and physical bits, but gave up house space.

As you will have noticed from the photo, my whole role around Morwynna is to make her look taller and slimmer. But she makes me look long-haired ...

So we processed in with Marie carrying a pen and ink, and Maeve a rose. The rose is the symbol of the Queens and ex-Queens, while the Kings get a sword. Seems a little unequal, so I added the pen and ink, because as we all know, good press beats conventional weaponry any day. Well, at least until the Democrats take both houses ...

Note Marie's sexy hat. It's not actually hers. Her one is still half-made because I wanted to have a tidy and organised house. Alas. Still, everyone looked very good, although I can't see Maeve in that frock without the mental image of her unhooking a few clasps and stepping out of the farthingale, forepart and petticoats to tuck up the red skirts into her bike shorts and step into a sailboat. Remarkable engineering.

What's that? back to the narrative? Sure. The K&Q said nice things about me, they took the wreath from Duchess Lochac and gave their accolade, and then gave me a pen and ink and told me to write. I can't believe they let me put that in the ceremony; like I need encouragement.

Duchess Lochac welcomed me to the club; I gave her the first rose and mentioned what an inspiring model she had always been to me, which goes back to my early days in the SCA, then handed the second rose to the Queen in token of her joining us in a month. All very nice.


We then swore an oath to the King, Queen and Kingdom, which is a little different to the standard fealty. It reads:
Here do we swear, by mouth and hand,
fealty and service to the Crown and Kingdom of Lochac.
As we have ruled this Realm in faith,
so shall we keep that faith henceforth,
that we may, by our example,
foster chivalry, courtesy, and honour throughout the land;
until the Crown depart Their throne,
or death take us,
or the world end.

Which I liked because it gave us a clear job description. I should have mentioned that the whole cermony was a merging of West and Caid ceremonies, because we wanted to recognise both of Lochac's parent Kingdoms. Benedict from Ildhafn suggested this idea many months ago, because he is a darling. Another big thank you there.

During the fealty, J dropped his sword. Which means that it is now tradition! Duchess Lochac and I hatched a plan that I will bring a sword to Draco and Asa'a ceremony, as back-up in case nothing has clanged to the ground by the end.

One thing that was forgotten was my dubbing! The most important bit! I didn't feel at all real. Asa blamed Draco, Draco blamed Morwynna. Morwynna called for a sword and did the job herself, which was stylish, classy, sensible and funny and has gone down on my shortlist of top SCA moments.

(Draco let me punch him gently in the ribs in complaint without having me banished or executed, he's a lovely king! He also promised to vote for me on the Chiv the minute I'm ready, so one day I finally will get a dubbing from a Crown. If I train a lot. Eh, it can be done!)

Finally, here are two of the banners, which you can see better if you click on them. We gave Art courage because she was so brave about the head wound; Tyg had Largesse, because it's pretty and so is she. Aelfled had courtesy, because that's her one! and Mayela had prowess, because she's good at practically everything.

But I really must make the lettering at the top heavier ... in all my spare time ...

The rest of the night was weird. I kept trying to spend it with people who had been important to me during the reign, but kept being snaffled instead. Some snafflings were fine, such as when young Robert took me to talk to his mum. Others went on for ages and were with people who normally don't talk to me. Yay for the rockstar approach to the SCA. Oh, hang on, that's sarcasm. Sorry, I try not to slip below irony.

Meanwhile, the people that I care about were treated to drive-by visits and quick chats. At least I brought champers and strawberries ... It was all very frustrating, and I can see why Cornelius and Morwynna bunked off immediately after their ceremonies.

At least I was able to see Helen for the first time in years and meet her lovely chap, Nick. He's ace, and I don't just say this because we seem to have lived parallel lives ...

Right, back to the downside.

On the downside, the house is still a teeny bit of a shambles and we didn't get to the event at the time other people would have liked us to.

To which I say: you pay for the King and Queen to visit your home Barony out of your own pocket and then feel free to come and whinge to me. 7.45, people. We knew there was a second court at 8.15 scheduled, and it's not like everyone had even finished first remove.

It rather annoyed me [pissed me off immensely] that a select band of people harped on about this. I'm not talking about our actual friends who said "Are you guys OK? We were worried." because that's fine. I'm talking about the people who, instead of saying "Yay, congratulations, bet you're excited!", started with "Where the hell were you?" and then nagged mercilessly.

Well, we were dealing with things going wrong and then people calling every five minutes to add a bit more stress. I reiterate: 7.45. This is only scary late to six year olds.

There was one person only who had a right to be annoyed at the timing, Cornelius, Duke Lochac. He had a bike meet on the next day. We had left it entirely up to him if he wanted to come to the event. He chose to (which was a very welcome choice). We also sent messages that we would understand completely if he wanted to leave, he chose not to (again, something that we appreciated). We apologised to him afterwards for delaying him an hour, he said that it was all fine. I have immense respect for Cornelius's ability to make his own decisions and be forthright in communicating them. If the one person who was inconvenienced had the grace to be offering congratulations and support, you might think that would be the model to follow.

As it was, I spent much of the last week following the other Cornelius model, where he rolls his eyes and then looks a little unfocussed as he mentally slaps gits. I feel I have a lot to learn.

What did I learn from it all? That I am very grateful for my friends, that some peers rock, that ceremonies should have meaning and aren't just for the punters, and that some people will take a happy, shiny moment and be an utter cock about it.

What I'm trying to learn is how not to let the last group upset me. But as J wisely said: "The people who have any understanding of all this are Cornelius and Morwynna, Draco and Asa, and our closest friends and household. They were all happy and supportive. No one else really matters."

Which is not at all true, and quite wholly true at the same time.

Off to Hobby Horse Crusade in the morning, must get some sleep so that the kids can climb all over me with impunity.